Do you really think I’m so

fucking terrible, well that’s 

the way you make me feel?

 

Absent you are, then present

to point to the gaps in me,

that feel like canyons of doubt.

 

I awoke so happy this morning,

only to be greeted with distain,

that makes me feel like starting

the whole damn morning again.

 

But there is no restart, just the

feeling that I’m not enough and

perhaps I never will be in this life.

 

So, my thoughts turn to another

life, not lived under your gaze

but in the inspiration of being me.

 

24/12/2020